A Mother’s Day Farewell

family, music, nonfiction, , 34 Comments

“Moments before she passed away, I asked my Mom if she had any words of wisdom to share with the world. She bit her bottom lip, shook her head, and replied: “No. I’m not that kind of person.”

I disagree. Mom was both humble and wise. What she lacked for in words, she conveyed through her actions. She taught us that in every situation, no matter how bad, there is good. She taught us that forgiveness is always preferable to holding a grudge. She could make everyone feel welcome in even the most awkward situations: elevators, waiting rooms, and yes, funerals… Her sunny disposition was contagious, her kindness bottomless.”

Above is an excerpt from the eulogy I wrote for my mom and delivered at her funeral yesterday. She was 96 years old and chose Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) which is legal in Canada. Mom was courageous, gracious, and full of good humour right till the end. The staff at the nursing home lined up for hugs and goodbyes before my sister and son escorted her to a family home for a more intimate passing. My sister and I had the honour of holding her hands until the end. Our sons were also present for the final hugs.

Mom asked that the following song, performed my brother Laurie, be played at the funeral. Originated by the Casting Crowns, Laurie’s version was fitting for the day.

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

34 thoughts on “A Mother’s Day Farewell”

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss, VJ. Loss of a parent is one of the hardest we suffer. This is a lovely tribute. Hugs and prayers for comfort.

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  3. I’m so sorry for your loss VJ. This is such a lovely tribute to your Mom. I know you’ll always carry with you wonderful memories of her and the lessons she taught you. Thank you for sharing Laurie’s rendition of No Scars In Heaven. He did a beautiful job with it. Praying for comfort and peace for you all.

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  4. She is and rest after a good life but I know the pain you and your family are feeling at this moment. Time will sofen the pain but the conection will always be strong as you all settle with the gap in your family.

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  11. What a beautiful tribute to your mom, VJ! She sounds like a delightful and amazing person. Thanks for sharing this snapshot of her with us! Sending you all lots of hugs – I’m sorry for your loss.

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