The desire to be understood is riddled with personal agendas. When both parties are grasping for that same reassurance, communication becomes a minefield. I prefer conflict avoidance, but recognize it only defers the pain (and often adds to it).
No matter how empathetic, or compassionate I try to be, there are always those relationships where communication fails. Where do I start?
One Woman's Quest II 
Sometime there is just no common wavelength. We might as well be living in different universes.
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Exactly.
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I prefer conflict avoidance, as well, but the issues can get on my nerves. I try to think about things that give me pleasure and block out the negative. I feel you’ve made the first step by expressing how you feel.
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I’m right in the thick of it right now. It’s tough. Keep trying to imagine the peace that awaits me.
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That’s unfortunate, VJ. I’ve been there too and know how difficult it is to endure. Keep the upper hand and stay strong.
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I’m a big conflict avoider, too. Therapy has helped a little bit, but only a little.
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It’s hard to undo all that conditioning…
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Definitely. My dad was the same way.
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Such a good question. I hope when you figure out, you’ll post it here.
But I find so much hope in this beautiful post – because it has such a spirit of continuing to try.
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Oh, thank you for your kind words, Wynne.
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Finding that common ground, the smooth path is not always easy.
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It really isn’t. Thanks Heather
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You’re welcome.
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VJ, I finally noticed that my own frustration(s) sprang from a belief that playing fields are equal, or they could be if I just tried hard enough. (“What was I doing wrong?”} But sometimes the person(s) we are dealing with simply aren’t as motivated as we are equalize the field. I used to think it was always my job to make a situation work, but it isn’t. The job is half mine.
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Exactly. We don’t possess the power to make another ‘see’ or ‘feel’ anything.
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There are situations were people just don’t agree and will not change their positions no matter what. It is best sometimes to agree to disagree.
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Yes. I also think of the words of one therapist, who said just act cheerful, as if nothing has happened.
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I think you’ve started. By expressing precisely what you did in this post! Sometimes calling it out – the feeling or observation that’s bothersome – is the best I can do. Hugs to you! 💕
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Thank you!
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🥰
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Oh I know this feeling. I stay quiet in hope that some greater wisdom will prevail!
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I try that too, Sadje, but some days…..
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I know, being human we too can speak out.
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I opine that it’s good to start by honoring and valuing self.. and at the same time respecting differences in opinions of others. Though we all came from Source, we each carry our own uniqueness. I feel that if we could see through the lenses of Source, then it’s akin to seeing a spectrum of rainbow.. and no color is better than the other.
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One of my teacher’s once said look for something to love in everyone and start there. Ideally, it’s good.
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😍😍😍
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Those words have been hovering in the back of my mind and you took them right out of my head.
I don’t know where to start either.
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Ugh…it’s so hard.
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