There’s a restlessness in me that defies explanation. It’s not that I am bored – I have any number of creative projects on the go – it’s that I have a sense that I’m missing something, something that lies deep at my core. But what? And how do I access it? Something that is dormant […]
Post marital disruption, I would go to the river every day, say a prayer for guidance, power walk off the stress, and then sit in quiet contemplation facing the water. My son referred to it as “Mom finding inner peace.” Power walking is a thing of the past, and every day is no longer doable, […]
I’m struggling with myself. It isn’t the first time, and I’m certain it won’t be the last. There is no definable reason, and yet my emotional self tries to find blame: it’s Ric’s behaviour; it’s because I’m homesick; it’s my illness. Rationally, I recognize that my life is full of blessings right now, and this […]
I stuff down the cookies as if the faster I eat the more I can distance myself from the misery that has bubbled to the surface. “Write about it,” my psychologist suggests as she ushers me out of the door, our session having run past the allotted time. I told her about the weekend I […]
The past week has been very draining on many levels. Â I know others have felt it, as well. Â The surge of emotional and psychological upset has taken its toll on my physical well-being. Â I spent the morning in bed, and part of the afternoon, and then, since the rain was holding off, I asked Ric […]
“…he had always been popular and happy and things had always worked out.”                    (Holly LeCraw, The Swimming Pool) I close the book, feeling the rage shifting just below my sternum. It’s the second time this week […]
I turned to God when my foundation was shaking, only to find that God was shaking my foundation. – unknown I’ve carried this quotation with me since my early thirties, a time when the bottom fell out of my life and I fell into a deep abyss of depression and mental breakdown (or breakthrough, as […]
I’m on a field trip with several classes of middle school students. We are attending a local theatre to watch a live performance.  One boy, in particular, is concerning me.  He misbehaves regularly and needs constant monitoring.  I rotate between the balcony and the main floor keeping an eye on students and come upon the […]
“I’m not as smart as you. Â I’d probably be okay if I was smarter.” “That’s not true, June. Â You are very smart.” “Do you really think so?” My sister and I are doing dishes after supper. Â June suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. “You got 96% in your nursing program,” I remind her. Â “Intelligence is not your […]
What is it about run down buildings that stirs the imagination? This crumbling facade inspired the poem Abandoned: No voices linger, not even the sound of shattered glass echoes, only bones shedding flesh, an unholy darkness within, a mystery shrouded in silence. This is the schoolhouse where my mother-in-law had her first job as a teacher, […]