In dreams, I walk, no concern for the distance. I ride a bicycle, or drive a car. I move with purpose and direction…
…until lucidity snaps me back to reality and then I plummet into the despair of knowing these are no longer options for me.
In dreams, I confront life’s issues, face my foes, am determined…
…and then I awaken, and realize that my well-being is dependent on the charity of others, and that I am in no position to be rocking any boats, especially the ones keeping me afloat… and that in sickness, my emotional state is compromised.
In dreams, I teach, am engaged in life, and financially rewarded. I am alive with the adrenaline of deadlines, lessons to be prepared, classes to get to…
…and then I awaken and realize that I am a student again, enrolled in a course I would never have signed up for, unprepared for the tests thrown at me daily: a monetary burden.
In slumber, I am everything I used to be – a compensation for this waking reality called ME/CFS.
Is it any wonder I prefer sleep?
(Photo from private collection)
Writer, avid reader, former educator, and proud grandmother, currently experiencing life through the lens of ME/CFS. Words are, and always have been, a lifeline. Some of the best adventures, I'm discovering, take place in the imagination.