V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #4: Relationships

“The people we are in relationships with are always a mirror,
reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously
we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs.”
                            – Shakti Gawain

A friend of mine used to say (and I paraphrase).

“May you experience as many relationships as you need to be whole.”  

I like the way she thinks.  It is unreasonable to expect that one person will fulfill all our needs.  Romantic relationships aside, our friends, children, siblings, parents, and co-workers all contribute to our sense of self and how we interact with the world.

This week, I am challenging myself, and any who follow along, to examine a connection and ask the questions:

  • How does this relationship inform who I am?
  • What have I learned about myself through this connection, and…
  • How, if at all, has it made me a better person?

I might also ask what it is that I bring to the relationship.

All are welcome to participate.

Just add a post to your blog on the topic of relationship, and create a link back to this page, or enter a link in the comments below.

The challenge is open all week (and ongoing), so feel free to post at any time.

You might add VJWC as a tag, and or use the challenge banner:


Looking forward to your responses – always enlightenment to be gained.

Posted by

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

7 thoughts on “V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #4: Relationships

  1. http://creativestreak.in/2018/06/27/relationships/

    RELATIONSHIPS are the crux of life. These are so much mingled into our lives that they actually define it. So, it’s really tough to give a lucid and centred article on this topic. Nevertheless, I feel tempted to respond to this prompt but frankly don’t know where it would lead to.

    The relationship is quite distinct from the friendship as in
    “Relatives are by chance,
    Friends are by choice.”

    This fact totally dissects the path of these “Ships”. You cannot get in or out of relation as per your convenience. We might defy it, but some part of life will die along with it. So best practice is, What can’t be cured must be endured. But easier said than done. Here the quality of endurance makes all the difference. One important fact here that we mostly forget is that both the parties in the bond are not static. Both are constantly calibrating themselves as per their wishes and understanding. So sometimes rather mostly, we respond to a person who existed a year back and the person in front of us now has reconstituted himself. And it’s a disaster when the other person is also responding to our old selves. So the key to nurture bond of relationship is two step approach:
    1. Being a good listener.
    2. Effectively conveying one’s thoughts.

    I.e. being in control of the two-way traffic.

    To have a better insight into this theory, I would like to classify the relationships into two broad categories:

    1. Symbiotic – Where the basic mutual intention is love and care. It seems easy to be into such relations but they do need maintenance by constant nurturing and also protection from envious eyes. Good communication can enrich the lives of both and take them to their highest potentials.

    2. Parasitic – Here one of the persons is a sucker (if both are suckers, they will remain apart) who would gobble up all your credits and drain you physically, mentally and emotionally. If you are not alert, your vitality is sucked out. What can be done in such a relationship. Just be aware that the sucker doesn’t cling to you and create an invisible wall in between. Beware that you don’t exclude your true friends and family otherwise only you are at a loss and the sucker has won. You need to be tactful and handle it very patiently to turn the tables upon them as the parasites are naturally gifted to ooze the blood out of you. With perseverance, you can also use such a relationship to your own enrichment. One Kabir doha comes to mind here.

    निंदक नियरे राखिए, ऑंगन कुटी छवाय।
    बिन पानी, साबुन बिना, निर्मल करे सुभाय।।
    अर्थ: कबीर दास जी कहते हैं कि व्यक्ति को सदा चापलूसों से दूरी और अपनी निंदा करने वालों को अपने पास ही रखना चाहिए, क्यूंकि निंदा सुन कर ही हमारे अन्दर स्वयं को निर्मल करने का विचार आसकता है और यह निर्मलता पाने के लिए साबुन और पानी कि कोई आवश्यकता नहीं होती है ।

    It means that you should keep your critics especially backbiting ones near you and make them comfortable in your home as they wash your nature and character without need of any soap and water. They remove the dirt of flaws from your personality and take your sins upon themselves to make you a pure being. Thus they are actually doing a service to you.

    In the end, I would add that nothing is conclusive in this complex matter of relationships. And to add something in total contrast to the foregoing,

    Ultimately, we only choose our relationships too by the Law of Attraction. The way people join our lives and behave with us is totally defined by ourselves.

    So Fix Nothing and Look Within.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have added much to this conversation, and agree that relationships can be defined in many different ways. I had to smile at the comment about friends vs relatives, as I think we can all relate to that. Illness has taught me the importance of letting go of parasitic or toxic relationships – I no longer have the energy for those. Is there a particular relationship that has been more notable or fulfilling for you?


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