Resetting the Dial

At fifty-nine, I was certain that I knew myself – accomplished, defined and established – but illness changed the framework from which my remaining time would unfold.   I became a non-entity in my former career, and a ghost to friends.  My children mourned the loss of their vibrant mother and settled into lowered expectations.  My husband took up a new role. Life, like a river, flowed around me while I stood still.

Black and white houses
fade into winter’s landscape –
humble surrender.

Life, however, has no intention of letting us settle.  It drives us through the darkness to find new light, and in the depths of our despair, my husband and I reach out to possibility and gamble on a risk.  We sold our house, and bought a home on wheels, setting off into the unknown: resetting the dial from ailing seniors to snow-capped adventurers.  In that single act of defiant deviation, like throwing open the doors of a jail cell, we found rejuvenation.

As light in darkness
transforms mundanity, so
too am I salvaged –
revelation turning back
the icy pallor of winter.

(Written for this week’s challenge: deviation.  We come together with family  to celebrate an early Christmas this weekend and then mid-week will hit the road for another chapter in our rambling life.)

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

16 thoughts on “Resetting the Dial

  1. Wow. That’s an inspiring story. A chronic illness can derail a life. I understand that. “Life flowed around me while I stood still” captures it all perfectly. Even the most well meaning people just don’t – or can’t – understand. Which makes it all the harder.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Settled in this freedom of snow capped adventures…now you can move and go as you please, on your own time, at your leisurely speed, with whatever capacity you do have, there is always a possibility that open greater avenues.
    Enjoy your travels.

    Liked by 1 person

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